The First Decade

Cory works 24-hour shifts at his full-time job so we don't go to bed together about 30% of our nights.  When he's gone, I crawl into a rumpled bed because making my bed is one thing I almost never do (blush).  But when he's home, I never have to.  Prior to crawling in, Cory always makes my bed.  And not just makes it, but makes it exactly how I like it.  He pulls the fitted sheet super tight, like a hotel bed.  Then he puts on the flat sheet, then my electric blanket, and turns it on to level four.  Then he double folds the comforter so all of my covers are heavy.  And I swear to the heavens, when I crawl into my bed, I feel so loved and cared for.

I'm a strong, independent woman.  I can manage the household, work my job, debate the issues of the day.  I can teach and raise my children, and care for my husband.  I cook dinner every night and keep the laundry done.  But there is something deep inside me that absolutely loves being cared for.  

Cory and I are celebrating our ten-year anniversary today.  We are blessed to be in a marriage that isn't perfect, but is darn good.  And relatively easy.  Even though we fight, we almost never go to bed angry.  Cory works hard to support us and is an exceptional father.  And we work because we're respectful of each other as human beings, we are excellent communicators, and we love each other deeply.  And there may be grand gestures in our marriage, but the little stuff -- like the made-up bed -- are the best parts.  

Life is busy, and can be painful.  Parenting is sometimes overwhelming and so much work.  So today I am taking a moment to be thankful that I have a partner who loves and appreciates me like Cory does.  I wasn't looking for him when he came into my life, but God knew I needed him for the rest of my life.  Thankful for this first amazing decade and looking forward to many more ahead of us!

A Decade, A Lifetime

Ten years ago, on Mother's Day (which was May 12 in 2002), I met the captain for the first time.

I was waitressing at Doolittles in Plymouth; working a double shift that day and it was so busy!  Cory and his family came in for dinner.  Because his mom and I worked together at Polaris back then, I paid a little more attention to the table than I might have.  I remember that we were serving champagne and strawberries to the moms.

The very first thing my love ever said to me was, "I'll have a Captain Coke."  It was meant to be.  ;)

As I recall it, Cory left before the rest of his family.  I didn't think about it much until a couple days later when a mutual friend at work told me his mom was going to call and bug me for some info.  She did.  I remember she asked if I was single and I told her to give Cory my number; I'd do anything once.  I do not remember the date of our first date, but we went to dinner at Sunsets and then hung out at a beach near my house. 

I liked him right away, but if I'm being fair, my love life was pretty complicated then.  I was healing from a difficult long relationship I had only been out of for a couple months, and I had met a guy in New York that I planned on seeing in the beginning of June, when I went there for a motorcycle rally.  Cory told me to call him when I was in New York, but I told him not to be surprised if I didn't.  He was sure he'd never hear from me again.  He was wrong.

I went to New York, and the other guy never showed up.  Providence.  When I got home, it was a Sunday.  I called Cory's home phone and left a message.  He called me from his parents that afternoon, not knowing that I had called him first.  We must have made a decision to meet again.  Things moved pretty quickly from there:  I went with him for a fire department interview in Sioux Falls, SD in the beginning of July.  By the end of that month, we know it was a solid relationship, and were madly in love.

 We got engaged that December, and married the following May, one year from the first time we met.  We had both been in unsustainable relationships and we knew that this one was.  At the time we met, Cory was applying for full-time fire jobs all over the midwest.  He swears he knew he loved me when we were talking about the possibility of him getting a job elsewhere and I said, "I'm mobile." 

I knew I loved him early on.  He has always been so incredibly stable, and strong, and patient with me.  In the beginning, I was still healing from my past, and I had some wounds that he had to wait out.  And he never made me feel bad about it.  He was ten times the man I had always wanted, effortlessly. 

I have a thousand wonderful memories of this past decade.  He has supported me through three pregnancies, and my journey as a step-mom and a mother.  He supports me as a working mom.  And maybe most importantly and endearingly, he supports me as a woman.  He repects my ideals and my expression of them, and encourages me to be who I am.

So on this Mother's Day, a decade later, I want to thank the captain.  For giving me the chance to be a mom and for being my partner. I couldn't do it without him and I am forever grateful for that moment he ordered a drink from me.   Here's to many more, Cory.  I love you!

The Captain

My husband would never brag.  If it were up to him, he'd never even share with the general public big things that happen in his life, but he's married to me and let's face it: I would.  This post is dedicated to my husband -- the hardest working, hottest firefighter anywhere.

We spent the first couple years of our marriage formulating a plan for our life.  We are very aware that life doesn't always go according to our will, but in accordance to my character, we roughed it out anyway.  We talked about children, our careers, retirement. 

In order for Cory to advance his career as a firefighter, we knew there were a lot of things he'd have to accomplish: education, training, hard work, consistent commitment.  He's done all of that.  He obtained his fire science degree by taking two classes at a time (at the same time as working three jobs + be a parent and husband), attended additional trainings and has taken every opportunity the fire departments afforded him.  It's been a lot of hard work.  And a lot of sacrifice.

Today, for the first time, we are celebrating a major reward of that hard work: the fireslayer was promoted to the position of Captain at the airport fire department.  There were several other very qualified candidates for the position, and we wish them our best.

I have no doubt he'll do an excellent job in this position and I am so proud to be his wife.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity.  Please continue to protect him and firefighters everywhere as they serve their communities.  Give them courage and return them safely to their families.  Give Cory wisdom and humility in his new postion.  Amen.

Happy Mother's Day!

We took a few photos today for Mother's Day.  Because I'm usually behind the lens.  I love my rugrats.  Every minute of every day.

And then of course, because mothering those two would be impossible with my big strong fireslayer. 

Duluth

This what happens on Lake Superior, just north of Duluth this time of year.  I realize I didn't explain it in my last post, and it's stunningly beautiful, so I thought I'd share a couple more.  Might as well find the beauty in the COLD.

Random Photos

A few photos from a few years ago. Just because they're cute and I'm sick of looking at that other photo.  And I have no written inspiration right now.  :)

The One

The Sunday before Christmas in 2002, Cory proposed.

We met in May 2002 and pretty much knew by the end of that summer that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  So, I was kind of waiting for the proposal.  There were two occasions prior to that Sunday that I was pretty sure he was going to do it.  I was wrong. 

My mother-in-law's family had planned an ornament exchange.  I think his cousin Scott (Shane?) had my name.  I had no indication there was anything going on, except I do remember noting that it was strange that everyone had their cameras out the entire time.  I just thought they made a really big deal out of ornament exchanges...seriously, each person holding up their ornament for photos, videotape...big ordeal.  When it was my turn, Cory had wrapped my ring inside a glass ball ornament.  It was wrapped in tissue, though, so when I pulled on the ornament string, the whole top popped off, so I pulled the ring right out.  Cory got down on one knee and well...that's the story.  I said yes. 

I love that it was unexpected.  I never would have imagined he'd propose in front of anyone else, so I was clueless.  And I wouldn't change it for anything.

(Heading out to show off my ring.)

A couple weeks ago, Jo wrote a lovely blog entry about her wedding and asked how we knew He was the one for us.  I told her I'd blog about it, but now that I'm doing it, I'm finding it hard to put into words.  All of it is so cliche and really was this:

I just knew.

I think Cory and I had had enough Wrong to recognize Right.  We were both worn out from really hard relationships, and there was just never anything hard about ours.  We communicated easily, connected instantly, and to this day, have nothing but the greatest respect for each other.  I can honestly say that I never had a moment's doubt prior to our wedding, or since.  I realize that this is the greatest of blessings.

I'm an idealist, not a realist, so I believe with all my heart, that we'll be together forever.  I do believe that God brought us together at exactly the right time...after all the heartache of previous relationships so that we never take for granted what we have together.

Also, when I said I was going to make a paper chain for the remaining 30 days until our wedding, he didn't laugh at me. 

He simply hung it up. 

That's love.

Oh, and a great Part II of this story.  Cole wasn't with us that day.  So the next time we were together, he was sitting on my lap (he was five) and we were putting up the Christmas tree (a tiny three-footer, as I recall it).  I told him that Dad had already given me my Christmas present and that I was wearing it. 

"That sweatshirt?!" he asked of my grubby garb. 

"Nope," I told him, "It's on my hand."

"Oh, that ring?!"

I told him that it meant that his dad and I were going to get married.

He pumped both fists in the air, "YES!  I'm gonna have TWO moms!"
(Bet he doesn't feel that strongly about that still today!)

-----------------------

I just knew.  I just know.

40 Years

40 years is a long time. I am so proud of my inlaws as they celebrate their 40th today. I've been thinking about the things that will bring Cory and me to the same milestone (by the grace of God). I have said it before, but I have the best husband in the world. These are the things that work for us:

1. Commitment. We both take our vows very seriously.

2. Respect. We recognize that each of us has different roles in the relationship and we are both appreciative of the work the other one does. And we tell each other that all the time.

3. Communication. Not only do we not go to bed angry, we usually talk through our issues in the evening. We frequently have to wait until the rugrats are in bed so that we can hear each other, but we're both good about talking. And listening.

I know we're a long way to our 40th anniversary, and I realize that life will be full of changes and challenges, but if we can keep those three up, we'll get there. I'm sure of it.

I wish the same happiness for each of you! Happy Monday!

(PS How cool is this photo!? As I dug through photos for the party, I came across this beauty. My new fave. I think it's groovy.)

Surefire No-Fight Bedtime Routine

When it's time (oh, around 7:30 p.m.), we race to bed around here. Literally. As you'll see from the first photo, Matty gets to do the starting, "On your marks-get set-go!" Jack usually starts on all fours because it's still a little confusing to him. And no matter who gets to the bedroom first, Jack always exclaims, "YAY! I WON!" Yes, you did little man. And so did I, because now I get silence.

Fix it.

Probably the most played-with toys in this house are the tools. Especially when Poppa is home on vacation for a week tackling the "to do" list.

Ta da!

Before:
And after:

Six years minus two days ago...

...I married my gorgeous husband. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

About a month ago, Andy posted something on facebook about needing a flash drive, her friends suggested an external hard drive (or maybe she recommended that to someone else; can't remember.) Anyway, it was a reminder to me that backing up files is a project that shouldn't be put off. I went out to Walmart and bought the smallest hard drive I could find. Cory promptly backed up all our files on the PC downstairs. We primarily use the laptops now, but until about six months ago, we exclusively used the downstairs computer.

Last week, I needed to print something on my printer connected to the old computer, so I went to pull the file up.

GONE.

Everything was gone, from the entire computer. All of our pictures, my work documents, and computer programs. I remember my friend Nancy called right as I realized that we had backed it all up. When she asked what I was doing I said, "Thanking Jesus!"

And now, as I browse through all those saved memories, I am reminded of my wedding day and the week leading up to it. I knew then that this marriage was going to be this good.

I love you, Cory. Thank you for loving me (and for backing up those files).

Clarification

They didn't exactly get SKUNKED, they caught this:

But they had fun with other stuff too (note: this is in the rented fishhouse (or is it icehouse?)):

Someday, Matty and Jack are going with on the Annual Ice Fishing Overnight. Then...Momma's going to get a night off. It's a pleasant thought.

5. I Love My Husband

If Cory taught a "Relationships for Men" class, here's what he'd teach his students:

1. Spend time with her.

2. Let her have some time alone.

3. Hug her often.

4. Let her cry.

5. Appreciate her.

6. Bring her flowers. Small gestures go a long way.

7. Adore her.

8. Take care of her and she'll take care of you.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. Thanks for all of the above.

Massew

Me: Okay, Matty-Matts

Matty: No, Mommy, not Matty-Matts, it's Massew. Like this, Mommy: say, Mass...

Me: Mass...

Matty: Ew. Mass...ew. That's right, Mommy. Massew.

Making Winter Bearable

These guys make January bearable. Fun, even.

I married well.

I almost hate to post this lest I sound like a gushing braggart, but I kind of feel like one today.

Relationships can be hard. They take work. Nothing's perfect. But if you have a husband like mine (and I know most of my readers do!), you'd want to gush once in awhile too.

I had a pretty stressful couple days. Felt out of control on a lot of levels...parenthood, my house, Facebook-mentioned backed-up drain, laundry, the works. I left this morning to go to a brunch with friends (thanks ladies, it was so great to see you!) and Cory had two hours off before he had to go to work at the fire station this afternoon. He was working on said drain when I left. I came home to a spotless house and the last load of laundry in the dryer. I just sent him a text that my husband is better than his wife.

Treat each other well. It's not really in the big things, it's paying attention to the things he or she needs on a day-to-day basis to cope and be happy that matter the most. Like a clean, under-control house.

Yes, he's a keeper.

Last Night

Disclaimer: I am not sure this will be as funny to you as it was to me last night.

It was about midnight and Jack was crying. Cory heard him (I was ignorning him), but clearly wasn't very awake. Our conversation:

Cory: What's that?!
Me: Jack.
Cory: Where is he?!
Me: In his crib.
Cory: In HERE?!
Me: No, in his room.
Cory: Which is...?
Me: Across the hall.

He got up, put Jack back down and then came back to bed. Enroute he tripped on something at the end of the bed. It was really loud. Even though I know it hurt him, I couldn't help but laugh. Between that and the previous conversation, I was hysterical. And I think it's even funnier this morning.

Sleepy, Honey?

Cory's addicted to Advil. I keep telling him he should quit, but he figures it's good for every ailment. So he takes it frequently. I buy it in the econo-size...I don't know...300 or so in a bottle? Anyway, about a week ago I cleaned behind my bathroom mirror in an effort to organize everything in this house (figure it'll take me 10 or 12 years). Embarrassed to say I haven't cleaned behind that mirror in the three years we've lived here. In the process, I threw out all expired medication. Included: Vicks vapo-steam, Aspirin, unopened Vitamin D, Tylenol PM. I made a little list of things to replace. Then I remembered an ad for Advil PM and knowing my hubbie's said addiction, I thought...hmm...oughtta try that. So I picked up a small bottle of it at Target. Four days pass. Last night I was brushing my teeth and think to mention to Cory, "Hey, I replaced the Tylenol PM that had expired with Advil PM. Thought you might like that." You know that look of confusion, then registration, then hilarity, then embarrassment? My dear, sweet husband has been liberally taking Advil PM for all of his aches and pains, real and imagined for FOUR DAYS! The label says (which we could hardly read through our laughter) "Do not take more than two tablets in 24 hours." Cory was taking them three and four at a time. Sleepy much, darling? (Which leads me to wonder...do they work? Wonder how much of that is psychological?) Explains the snoozing during his Fire Systems class on Monday afternoon, I guess.

What a Fire Smells Like

Can you smell the stink on this guy? Cory came home from a fire (an actual fire, which, yes, he put out with the help of his crew) and REEKED like fire last night. He was on a high for quite a few hours afterwards. As the wife of a firefighter, I very seldom give much thought to what he does. He leaves for a call and unless it's the middle of the night and he's gone too long, I don't think about what he's doing. I'm so proud of him and his line of work and someday I'll post a picture of him in action. It is a goal of mine to chase a fire truck someday and get close enough to the fire to take a picture. No easy task. First of all, I'm not dragging the kids out of bed. Second of all, in all the "good" fires, they make us stay pretty far back. Hmph. Someday, though, the boys are gonna see their poppa in action. It's pretty amazing. Plus who doesn't love turnout gear (as Ellen would say, "Am I right, ladies?!") Stinky, but adorable.