My Village: Lindsay

When Jack was a baby I found a laminated note in my mailbox, bright with different color markers.  It read:

Need a babysitter?

Hi!  My name is Lindsay!  I'm almost 13 years old.

I've been babysitting for three years.

I love kids.

I'm free whenever, so please give me a call.

AND...I'm VERY responsible!  

XOXO

Jack was only a few months old, so I tucked it in my cupboard and thought I'd call her when he was just a little older because she was so young.

The next spring, we were garage saling in the neighborhood.  I stopped at a sale, and did some shopping with Jack on my hip.  A young girl comes out of the garage and says, "Ooooh.  That baby is so cute!  Can I hold him?"  I tossed him over to her and said, "Sure!  Do you babysit?"  And she responded, "Yes...my name is Lindsay."

I swear if that wasn't just one of the most important days of my parenting life.

Lindsay began watching my kids when Jack was one, so five years ago.  She's one of those rare gems who isn't only good with kids, but genuinely loves them.  She's social, and kind, and thoughtful, and super responsible. She always shows up when she says she's going to, and my kids adore her.  Kids are very good judges of character, and they get positively giddy when she's coming to watch them.

She hasn't had an easy few years.  Her mom was sick, and she passed away two years ago.  Lindsay took excellent care of her mom when her health was failing, and really stepped up to the plate during her care at the end of her life.  It was more than anyone could expect of a sixteen year-old, but that's how she is, and I'm wasn't one bit surprised when she performed as an adult, mature beyond her years.

She missed her mom, and she had a hard time finding her footing after her mom passed away.  I'm so damn proud of the adversities she's overcome.  She's an absolute inspiration to me.  This week, she graduates high school and will be going on to live the next chapter of her life.  I have no doubt that whatever she decides to tackle, she'll do it, and she'll do it well.  Whoever she touches will be blessed with her presence and I can't wait to see what adventures lie ahead for her.

A lot of seniors put on their cap and gown and can feel proud of their accomplishment, as they well should.  But Lindsay, she's worked extra hard to earn it and I'm sure her momma is smiling down from Heaven with pride.

I am thankful that she's been part of my family these past five years. I know that she'll still be here for me and my kids for awhile, but her journey will take her further away from our family, and we'll have to find a replacement for her.  That will be difficult.  She's one of a kind, and I don't take for granted the gift we've had in her.

So I'll end by saying to you, dear girl, that I am so proud of you.  I'm thankful for you letting me into your life and letting us all be part of it.  I'm so thankful that when life was hard, you made good choices and you leaned on people who wanted to help and found good, positive people who encouraged you to stay the course.  We learn the most from the hard stuff; embrace struggle and know that you'll come out on the other side of it better, stronger, and wiser.  You are a treasure and I love you!

 

The other night, I laid my head on my pillow with my gorgeous and loving husband next to me.  I thought of my teenager sleeping downstairs, rapidly outgrowing the twin bed he's always slept on.  I imagined my two rugrats sounds asleep on their bunks.  And my sweet baby girl, across the hall, taking sweet little baby breaths all swaddled up and warm.  And I thought that if I had no other possessions in all my world, but these -- this roof over our heads, and this safe place to be together, it would be enough.  Lord, let me always determine my value by these gifts alone.

Thank you, Jesus.

Everything that Glitters

I have been getting some killer swag in the mail these days.  Everyone should have friends like me.
(And I should mail stuff more often.)

"I made a few cards just for me and decided that this one was clearly meant for you," she said. 

She's right.

(You can check out her whole beautiful line of cards here.)

I won a contest.  This is the last package of Kool-Aid.  I hope she sends more. 

But I owe her a bag of lollipops, so I'm guessing she won't.

I finally know what I'm going to do with this beauty.  She is so thoughtful.

I don't have a lot of stuff, but I'm wealthier than most in fantastic relationships.

My mail proves it.

Malia

I don't have a girl. And I have boys who never really liked to snuggle. But I've been blessed to have this precious girl in my life, who adores me, and whom I adore. When Malia comes over ever other week or so, on her mom's day off, she comes willingly into my arms. Most times, she lays her head on my shoulder. She's a very busy two-year-old, and she loves to color and play (she's an incredible independent girl), but when she needs a hug, she gives the best hugs. She'll simply lay her head on my shoulder for as long as I'll allow (which is a long time). I've never had that with either one of my busy boys, so I'm grateful for her sweetness.

But she has two big brothers, and can hold her own. Every time. She's a tough one...she cries less than my boys put together!

Maybe that's why I love her so much: she's the perfect combination of affection and strength. The future President of the United States! Go, Lia!

And the Traditions Winner is...

...my childhood friend and dear cousin, Liz!  Watch your mail, girl!

I wish I could send each and every one of you something special for sharing your holiday traditions and memories with me.  It was absolutely positively my favorite blog post ever.  I will go back and read those over and over.  Advent calendars, holiday food, the anticipation and excitement...delicious.  Thank you a thousand times over for sharing!

For those of you who commented on my blog for the first time, thank you.  It was a delight to hear from you...feel free to comment anytime!

I wish you a blessed holiday with nothing but happiness and love.  And tradition.  God bless.

Giveaway

This drawing has been postponed until tomorrow.  Momma had a crazy busy day.  Thanks for understanding!

Don't forget to comment on this post to be entered for my Christmas gift giveaway tomorrow.  What's the prize, you ask?  I have absolutely no idea.  Something I love at the holidays.  To be revealed tomorrow (I hope you sleep tonight in anticipation!).

Friendship

I have been given many gifts in my life.  None of them compares to the gift of friendship.  My life is so full of amazing relationships:

A friend willing to help me out at a moment's notice.  Without even asking for it.  Who doesn't take no for an answer, and I feel no guilt because I know she wants to.

A friend spending hours and hours and hours talking about life.  About stuff that matters, and stuff that doesn't. 

A friend so loyal it actually makes my heart hurt.

One who accepts my gifts without question, because she has to.

One who loves my children as much as she does her own.

One woman who gets me.  Who has the same world views and spirituality.  A gift beyond measure, to be understood.

A friend who shares.  Who allows me to share back. 

A group of friends, a safehouse, a hiding spot, where I never doubt that I am loved. 

One who does not judge me, but challenges me. 

Friends who allow me to help them buy or sell a home. It's my business, but it's your life.

A friend who reaches out.  One who I thought was disinterested.  And yet, we add value to each others' lives by being there.

A friend who thinks of me.  Without strings or expectations, simply because she cares.

One who makes me laugh until I cannot catch my breath.

One who admires me, even if there is nothing admirable in my character.  Who respects me, who believes in me.

I could not make it without you.  If you found yourself in there, then I am grateful for you.  Thank you for being kind to me, my friend.

The Teenager and His Mom

A couple months ago, my stepson's mom (my co-mom), Kelly, told me that she and her boyfriend had put in an offer on a home 45 minutes away.  She was concerned about my reaction, and I think I surprised her when I was immediately supportive.  Cole had already mentioned it, so the surprise factor was missing for one thing.  (And when he told me, I cried.  So I had already crossed that off the list.)

Kelly is a wonderful mom and a really good friend.  She's always been so supportive of me and I would not have been able to be a successful stepmom to Cole without her kindness and support.  She always backs me up.  Always.  And we're a strong united parenting force, and for the rest of my life I will be so grateful for our relatively uncomplicated blended family.  (Disclaimer: No relationship is perfect, and ours is no exception.  But it's really good.)

When I thought about Cole moving away (except for the eight months we were in Iowa, we've never lived more than four miles apart), I was so sad.  The boys will miss him so much.  I will miss him so much.  He's such a wonderful person.  The past year of his life have been amazing.  He's grown into a person I can have regular conversations with.  He's helpful and kind, and calm.  We talk things through and he shares his life with me.  I adore him.

Kelly has spent the past ten years or so raising Cole in a small house in a nearby town.  She has worked hard to make sure his needs were always met.  Now that she's expecting her second baby with her boyfriend, they have definitely outgrown her little house.  And when I think of how supportive she's always been of our life changes (the job in Iowa, our new homes, jobs, etc.), I knew I couldn't withhold my support now. She's going to have a big house with plenty of space for all of them.  And she deserves that. 

Cole is really excited about the move.  And I'm sort of grooving the idea of him going to a smaller high school.  I never missed living in a small town until I had kids of my own.  There is something amazing about growing up knowing all of your classmates.  I will miss that for the rugrats. 

Our visition will naturally change. But when I think of his age (and the fact that he'll be a freshman in high school (high school!  how did that happen already?!), I realize that visitation will probably happen in the  next couple years anyway.  And now that he's older, and presumably well-adjusted, and understands his important role in our family, I think it'll be okay.  We'll hog him on holidays and in the summer, and whatever other time we can steal away.  He knows how much we love him and how much we need him in our lives.  The timing is better than if he were eight or nine.

At the end of the day, it's not perfect, but it's okay.  When I weighed the pros and cons, I realized that it will suit all of us better to be supportive of Kelly and her new opportunity.  I really am so happy for them.  And while I'll miss seeing The Teenager as much, I can't begrudge anyone this change.

Over and over I am grateful that my life gave me all this.  That Kelly has been so kind and loving and more than anything, so supportive of my role as Cole's stepmom.  I wish them God's blessings in their new home as they settle in later this year and wish them nothing but happiness.  I'm willing to shelve my selfish feelings and our time with Cole for their growing family.  Because many times over, she's done that for me.  I am SO blessed.

Plymouth Fire Department 50th Anniversary

This year, we are celebrating the Plymouth Fire Department's 50th Anniversary.  I am proud to be part of such a great organization.  Thankful for Chief Kline's acknowledgment of firefighter spouses who stand behind those who work hard and commit to such an unstructured (and sometimes inconvenient) job.  It meant a lot to me, and likely to the other spouses in attendance.

The highlight of the evening was a "Panel Discussion" but should have been called "Reminisce" or similar.  Two retired firefighters, Chuck Scharlau and Butch Evenson joined two current firefighters, Rick Luth and Tom Evenson in a heart-warming, hilarious, and completely charming series of stories -- some sad, some happy -- of their experiences over the years.  It's good to listen to the old-timers.  I wish someone had videotaped their accounts, because it was as much the delivery as it was the content.  At the end, we gave them a much-deserved standing ovation for their years of service. 

The light was terrible, this was the best shot I could get.

It was a great night with friends.  I am sorry I didn't take more photos of everyone out in their finest, but it just was a quiet night for my shutter.  I do, however, have it forever imprinted on my heart.  Gratitude.

It's a Big Family

We spent last weekend with my entire family in Copper Harbor, Michigan.  It's no small event, given our size.  There is a total of 45 of us.  My parents, my siblings, their spouses, and their children.  Plus Jennie. It was amazing. Everything I could have hoped for really.

It's good for the siblings, but at least as beneficial for the cousins. Because we're spread out geographically, my kids don't know all of my neices and nephews.  The first morning, Jack turned to my sister's son and said, "Who are you?" He replied, "I'm Ted!"  "Oh," was Jack's happy reply.  He's probably only seen Ted two or three times his whole life.  It made my heart happy seeing them all play together and interact.  It made my heart happy hearing Shari's rugrats telling (semi) clean jokes around the fire and six-year-old Aubree playing Make Me Laugh in her sweet little voice.  And Tate (three) walking out of his tent in the morning and loud as can be:  "Good morning, everybody!"  I have the absolute sweetest, most wonderful neices and nephews in the whole world.

In February, I got the idea for this camping trip.  But some were focused on planning their Spring Break trips and couldn't make commitments for summer. We are not known for our decisiveness in our family, so I decided to go ahead with our own plans.  Cory had exactly one four-day weekend off this summer, so it wasn't hard to pick a weekend. And since Cory is in love with Lake Superior (seriously.  he might love it as much as he loves me), it wasn't hard to pick a location.  We settled on Copper Harbor.

The locals, Amy and Dan said they'd come out and camp with us.  Then Mike and Shana said they were going up there in June, but I pushed them hard to come in July instead (thanks, guys!).   After that, one by one, the others joined in. Last to commit were my parents. My dad was obligated to a golf tournament, which evidently the only legitimate excuse for not coming is death), but at the end of the day, they couldn't pass up the opportunity to be with their brood. My apologies to the rest of his foursome...we're glad they were there.

I hope we do it every year...life is too short and family is too important.  Don't tell the Yoopers, but I'm going to be pushing for Baker Park next year!

Community

Yesterday, I had the wound from my neuroma surgery drained.  Today, Cory had plans to go to a Twins game with some of the Plymouth firefighters.  So, my sister in law agreed to help me with the kids while he was gone (but then sent me a text that my in-laws had stopped by her house and were taking them home with them to have dinner...I have the BEST family!).

Cory met the other guys at Matt's house for the game.  Another firefighter, Chuck, left me a voicemail a couple hours ago:  Hi, Leanne, it's Chuck.  Hey, just saw your husband over at Matt's house and heard you had surgery.  Just wanted to let you know that I'm around all day as duty officer, and if you need anything at all, just call.

Community.

When I called Chuck back, I was saying to him that I really want to take the boys to Ft. Snelling on Monday.  All of Cory's grandparents are buried there, and the rugrats are at a great age to start talking to them about honor and sacrifice and patriotism.  I told Chuck that if I rest for a couple days, I should be up to taking them there!  We started talking about what an amazing place Ft. Snelling is and it's good to go pay our respects (Chuck also served in the military: God bless him.).

We started talking about community.  How years ago, everyone needed their neighbors.  I feel like we've become isolationists in so many ways, and in days prior, people leaned on their communities more.  And I realized, in that moment, that I am so in love with my firefighter family for that reason.  In it, Community is very much alive.  As evidenced by a phone call from a "family member" saying, "Hey, I heard you're laid up, let me know if you need me."  You know, like the olden days.

Someday, when the rugrats are men, and they call the wife of a friend who is laid-up and offer their help, I will know that I did my job. May my boys learn the value of Community at a young age and always remember that a man is more valuable when he doesn't stand alone.

And on Memorial Day weekend, a time we set aside to honor men and women who truly understood this concept, I say a prayer that my boys remember, respect, and maintain strong community always.  Amen.

K-Chat

We got to spend some time this weekend with most of my family.  Which seems to be these days, a rarity and a special treat.  I love this photo so much because my nephew Keith was totally dominating this conversation.  He wasn't saying any words, just jibber-jabbering, but clearly felt like he was contributing to the conversation with is dad and his uncles.  They did too.

Some of my siblings call my brother Dan "D-Money" so someone coined his son "Pocket Change."  Pretty cute stuff.

And Today is Her's

It's Mindi's 30th birthday.  If she sticks to her word, she'll be blogging about that milestone, so I won't steal it from her.  I will, however, share ten memories and things I love about her.

1.  Ted Danson Hot Name Game.  Happy 10th Anniversary, TDHNG!
2.  Her ability to come back to the reason we're friends in the first place.
3.  That one time she loaned me money for my car insurance.
4.  Our car-trips.  (and thus the birth of TDHNG.)
5.  Her hilarity.
6.  BFLs.
7.  The Cutlass Supremes (go green!).
8.  That she loves me even though I've hurt her feelings.  That she always forgives me.
9.  That she plows through challenges.  While being honest about them.
10. That on my 21st birthday, she made me 21 pasties.  YUM!

Happy 30th, friend.  I hope you love your thirties as much as I do!

In Her Honor

Many of you know my old roommate and bff, Peggy.  You may not know however, that she love love loves the Oakridge Boys.  So many nights, she insisted I stay up until all hours singing "I wish you could have turned my head, but left my heart alone!" with her.  She had a poster of William Lee Golden in her room.  I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I loved that immature, silly time in my life, but I'm still grateful I didn't cave when she asked me to move to Memphis to stalk them in real life!  Oh, how times have changed. 

So now, in her honor, on this, her 32nd birthday -- I dedicate this video. 



Love you, Peg.  For'er.

From Pastor Tedd

Click here for more:

Live as Jesus would desire for us.

Photos

I was just messing around with no flash and the bride on the dancefloor at a wedding this weekend.  I adore these photos, and this couple.  I thank them for sharing their day with us!

Prayers Needed

If you can spare a prayer, Kendall could use yours.  She's having her fourth heart surgery tomorrow, in as many years. 

You can click on her Caringbridge page here for more information and to see her adorable face.  She's a fighter, this one.  So's her momma.  Love you, Kelly.

Homemade Blessing

I don't know if I've ever received a homemade gift.  Seriously.  I have been very blessed in my life, and never felt without anything.  Every Christmas and birthday is a happy memory.  My parents worked so hard, and I am grateful.  But they bought the toys and things they gave me, as I have for my children.  And others.  I might have mixed a tape or two in the day, but that's about as "homemade" as I've ever gotten.

Cory said his dad used to make him a lot of toys.  He remembers all of those handmade treasures so well.  And now, his dad made me something too.

I asked for this creche for Christmas.  Well, last year I had suggested it, and my mother in law thought maybe my father in law could make it.  I put it back on my list this year, thinking maybe he would.  He did.  When I got to my inlaws on Thanksgiving, I found what my father in law had put together.  He looked at the measurements of my nativity set, and made it just tall enough.  He didn't want to buy an entire bail of straw, so he scooped up some of what was laying on the ground around the hay bails at Bachmanns.  Don't tell.  Stolen hay in Jesus stable.  Heh. 

Here it is, completed:

It was exactly what I wanted.  No. More than I wanted.  Because he took the time to put this together for me.  It is the perfect gift.  I understand that now, and am grateful.

Cole's Mom

The reality is, it's a world where blended families are the norm, and children become the pawn between adults who should know better.  Stepparents love their stepchildren less than their own and as a consequence, the children harbor feelings of inadequacy for life. I have had the pleasure of speaking to adults who grew up in a blended family, and they have been able to shed invaluable light on my situation. 

For those of you who don't know, Cole is my 12 year old stepson.  He had just turned five when I met him, and had his sixth birthday the month of our wedding in 2003.  (So hard to believe now that Matty is creeping up on that age!)

I told Cory shortly after we started dating that I thought it would be best if Cole's mom and I were friends.  I had learned that Kelly was about my age (two months older).  I thought I could be sensitive to her role as I entered the family if I worked hard enough.  I do not know if she thought this was important at that stage in our relationship, but I knew her friendship was something I had to try to have. 

I'm sure it was hard for her.  Cole had asthma as a child and as a consequence, she was very protective of him.  Understandably.  I didn't know him in those days, but I've seen the video of his wheezing while he was just crawling around.  It wasn't until I was a mom myself that I truly appreciated what she had to go through those first few years of his life.  It must have been hard to have me, a stranger, march in and stake a claim on her child.

We had a few bumps, as I recall it, but it didn't take very long.  Kelly came to our wedding, and has been an important part of our lives ever since.  The boys call her "Auntie Kelly" and spend a lot of time with her.  She is Matthew's godmother and loves the boys so much.  I have the unbelievable privilege of knowing that if I'm struggling as a stepmom, she'll have my back.  She's always been wildly supportive of my helping to raise Cole and I do not take that lightly; I know how unusual our healthy relationship is.

I hope she knows how much I value her.  I hope she knows how much it means to me that she has shared Cole with me the past seven and a half years, and how much it means now that she's sharing Vance with us too.  And, most of all, how much I value our friendship.

In this time of Thanksgiving, this was one of the most obvious, and one of the most emotional to write.  I wish the same happiness and love in your family this holiday season and forever.

Gratitude

My cousin Lesli posted a note in her facebook status that from now until Thanksgiving she's going to say one thing she's grateful for. I think it's a charming idea, so I'm going to play. However, I'm going to use this blog from time to time to talk about my daily status update if I can't fit it in the "what's on your mind" box.

I encourage you to do the same!

Today, I am thankful for Shannon. She is my oldest friend. I think. Pretty close. She is one of my closest friends today. We talk on the phone many nights after the rugrats go to bed. Our conversations are thoughtful and usually lengthy. I feel like I can share anything with her. Interestingly, we have very different views of the world. But I understand why she has her viewpoints; her life is much different than mine.

But mostly I love her because she loves me. No, more than that. She understands me. She gets me. And when she doesn't, she pushes until she does. And I know I drive her crazy. I know our arguments discussions get the best of both of us, but she always forgives me. We have worked through so many disagreements, and shared so many great moments. She's always supportive of me, and shares in my excitements, frustrations, and joys. I pray that I can be as good of a friend to her as she has always been to me.

I saw the photo in my post below on Saturday. Shannon didn't read my blog, but when she drove by it today, she posted in in her status update. Because she said it made her think of me.

That's how well she gets me.

I am grateful.