Yesterday, when I was talking to a couple different friends, I realized something. One of them said I'm making parenting four children look easy. And I don't know if I've portrayed this experience well. The challenge isn't in parenting each child, but in bringing each component into the whole picture. The challenge is how differently I have to parent each child.
The rugrats are easy. They need basic logistical care, but not constant detail. Homework, feeding, cleaning, clothing, laundry. Stuff I mostly understand. And their needs are pretty simple, and the complications easy to solve.
Then I have a teenager. And he's a good kid, but I'm done with logistics, mostly. If I never cooked for him again, he wouldn't starve. He does most of his own laundry. I have no idea if his room is clean because I've stopped going in there. Heh. But I'm not done parenting him yet! This period is Life Skills. And it's not easy, but it's WAY important. Does he know how to treat a girl? Does he know how to use a checkcard? Can he apply for and maintain a job? Can he safely drive a car? Is he ready to be on his own in two short years?? It's easy to give him the least attention right now because he can survive without me. But I am constantly reminding myself how important these next couple years are in skills he'll desperately need when he leaves our nest.
Now throw a newborn in the mix, I double dog dare you. Everyone knows the attention and time a newborn eats up.
So am I busy? YEP. Am I tired? Absolutely. But I'm so doggone happy and feel so fulfilled. Some days I'm going to chase my tail all day and hope I don't make anything worse. But most days, I'm going to make a difference. I'm going to continue to give these kids the tools they need to be successful adults. And, I hope, I'm going to squeeze in a nap.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Maternity Leave
I've had myself a few crying jags today.
We've had the captain home for 17 days. 17 great days. Tomorrow, he starts back at work after "maternity leave." I'm going to miss him so much.
This guy, he never misses a beat. Not only does he just step in and do what is necessary around here, but he does it without complaining. He never makes me feel bad or guilty for all the extra stuff he has to do -- the laundry, cooking, the cleaning, the boys' baths/bedtime/general entertainment.
I feel a little panicky to be without him. Am I ready to take care of four kids alone? Will I get to Mass on time and keep everyone together? Will the lack of sleep make me crazy? Will I maintain enough patience for the rugrats?
I know. Suck it up. Other moms do it. But I've been spoiled. And I'm reminded to be thankful for the other (better) half of my team. I love you, Cory. Couldn't do this without you. Hurry home.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Clara Beff
Jack: I'm not going to call her that.
Me: No? What are you going to call her?
Jack: Clara Beff.
Well, of course he is. His brother is "Maffew" after all.
Love.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Clara
Our babygirl is safely here. We are smitten. We're just home today and there will be much to share in the coming days, but in the interest in keeping a timely announcement in this place, I wanted to post at least a couple photos.
We have much to learn about her, but so far I can tell you that she's sweet and snuggly and spirited. Thankfully, she is very easy to calm because she will not hesitate to tell you how she's feeling. I feel calm and prepared and am insanely thankful to God above who gave her to us. We're happy to be home and starting the rest of our lives with Clara.
Clara Beth
9 lb 13 oz
21 perfect inches long
(she feels tiny, by the way. don't let her birth size fool you.)
We have much to learn about her, but so far I can tell you that she's sweet and snuggly and spirited. Thankfully, she is very easy to calm because she will not hesitate to tell you how she's feeling. I feel calm and prepared and am insanely thankful to God above who gave her to us. We're happy to be home and starting the rest of our lives with Clara.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Babygirl: Pre-Delivery
I am now two days away from delivering my baby girl into this world. It's a crazy, emotional place to be after a crazy and emotional process. I was telling Cory last night that as real as she is to me -- I can feel her limbs! -- its still all surreal somehow.
Her life hasn't begun. She hasn't seen me; and I haven't seen her, as well as we know each other. She hasn't taken a single breath of air, even though she's practicing like crazy in utero. She's squirmy and squished, but doesn't know happiness or otherwise. But in that moment, when they hand her to us, when she breathes, or cries, or wails...that's the moment I most look forward to. In that second, it's all worth it. The angels hand her over with their best wishes for a lifetime of love and family. It's all pretty spectacular.
I won't miss these numb hands. I won't miss my swollen feet. I won't miss the heartburn, and the fatigue, and the lack of patience. I will love to have my body back to myself, sleep on my stomach and walk without waddling.
I am thankful for my friend Jill, who has lovingly supplied me with this product. I have taken almost daily baths in these soaking salts the entire pregnancy.
Her life hasn't begun. She hasn't seen me; and I haven't seen her, as well as we know each other. She hasn't taken a single breath of air, even though she's practicing like crazy in utero. She's squirmy and squished, but doesn't know happiness or otherwise. But in that moment, when they hand her to us, when she breathes, or cries, or wails...that's the moment I most look forward to. In that second, it's all worth it. The angels hand her over with their best wishes for a lifetime of love and family. It's all pretty spectacular.
I won't miss these numb hands. I won't miss my swollen feet. I won't miss the heartburn, and the fatigue, and the lack of patience. I will love to have my body back to myself, sleep on my stomach and walk without waddling.
I am thankful for my friend Jill, who has lovingly supplied me with this product. I have taken almost daily baths in these soaking salts the entire pregnancy.
I am thankful for the captain, who has lovingly massaged my tired legs and my low back. Who is an amazing father, and an even better husband. For all the times he cleaned up so I didn't have to and took care of the rugrats and gave me a break. Nothing would be as good without him...how wonderfully (and undeservedly) blessed I've been.
So now, 48 hours before her birth, I count my blessings. And ask for your love and prayers as I take a step into the next chapter of my life's journey.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Election 2012: Paul Ryan
Is the only way to measure success the bottom line?
You will never hear me say that the budget doesn't matter. That we don't have to be careful in our spending. That we can keep increasing debt with no consequence. I do not idealogically believe that.
But a nation cannot be run like a corporation. We don't measure success only by whether or not we have debt. What good is a balanced budget if are sick? If our children are not properly educated? If our streets and infrastructure is in serious disrepair? What good is a balanced military budget if our soldiers are not cared for when they get home? How will we continue to recruit men and women to serve us? How will we compete globally with children who cannot get a world-class education?
The Tea Party movement in this country is led on the idea that government spending is out of control, and I'm not going to outright disagree. But we have to be careful where we make cuts.
This past spring, Paul Ryan proposed a dramatic budget plan which he calls the Plan to Prosperity. It balances the budget...in 2040. It includes very dramatic cuts to many social programs, including Medicare. It suggests that we should eliminate or drastically reduce funding for federal programs like pell grants, the department of education, veterans benefits, the FDA, FAA, and FBI. I wonder if people can imagine what our world without those would look like? Or is the hesitation just me?
Additionally, the Ryan Budget proposes eliminating Medicare and giving seniors a voucher to purchase private insurance. I cannot imagine the nightmare of this situation. We must care for our elderly, especially since they've been contributing to this program for all of their working life.
Luckily for the wealthy, the Path to Prosperity continues to provide large tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans. So that's good. *eyeroll*
So, as we enter this election season officially, I encourage you to really get to know Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan will stand out because BELIEVES in his plan, and there is something to be said for conviction. (Romney, on the other hand, has little. He has had many positions on many issues over the years and will happily point you to some of them if you're interested.)
So I'll happily discuss whether or not he's handsome. What kind of hair product he uses, or if there are shirtless photos of him somewhere on the world wide web. But I'll also ask you understand his positions. There is alot at stake here, and we're all smart enough to know that substance matters. And that the bottom line really might not be the only way to measure success.
Oh. And a gift for you: the link to the Ryan budget. Enjoy.
You will never hear me say that the budget doesn't matter. That we don't have to be careful in our spending. That we can keep increasing debt with no consequence. I do not idealogically believe that.
But a nation cannot be run like a corporation. We don't measure success only by whether or not we have debt. What good is a balanced budget if are sick? If our children are not properly educated? If our streets and infrastructure is in serious disrepair? What good is a balanced military budget if our soldiers are not cared for when they get home? How will we continue to recruit men and women to serve us? How will we compete globally with children who cannot get a world-class education?
The Tea Party movement in this country is led on the idea that government spending is out of control, and I'm not going to outright disagree. But we have to be careful where we make cuts.
This past spring, Paul Ryan proposed a dramatic budget plan which he calls the Plan to Prosperity. It balances the budget...in 2040. It includes very dramatic cuts to many social programs, including Medicare. It suggests that we should eliminate or drastically reduce funding for federal programs like pell grants, the department of education, veterans benefits, the FDA, FAA, and FBI. I wonder if people can imagine what our world without those would look like? Or is the hesitation just me?
Additionally, the Ryan Budget proposes eliminating Medicare and giving seniors a voucher to purchase private insurance. I cannot imagine the nightmare of this situation. We must care for our elderly, especially since they've been contributing to this program for all of their working life.
Luckily for the wealthy, the Path to Prosperity continues to provide large tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans. So that's good. *eyeroll*
So, as we enter this election season officially, I encourage you to really get to know Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan will stand out because BELIEVES in his plan, and there is something to be said for conviction. (Romney, on the other hand, has little. He has had many positions on many issues over the years and will happily point you to some of them if you're interested.)
For Shannon. Man, he's hot.
So I'll happily discuss whether or not he's handsome. What kind of hair product he uses, or if there are shirtless photos of him somewhere on the world wide web. But I'll also ask you understand his positions. There is alot at stake here, and we're all smart enough to know that substance matters. And that the bottom line really might not be the only way to measure success.
Oh. And a gift for you: the link to the Ryan budget. Enjoy.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Babygirl
Early in my pregnancy, I saw an acupuncturist. There was a meditation CD she had me listen to and in it, the narrator was describing how this baby was coming at the exact moment she was meant to. And reminded me to remember every woman who came before who made way for her. She said that my ancestors past whispered her name through the ages and already knew her. It was a really powerful moment for me, and I believe it to be true.
I am 32 weeks along now. My baby's c-section is scheduled for 39 weeks -- August 22. So, if you can't do the math, that's seven short weeks from now. But you mommas know that those seven weeks aren't so short, are they? I'm back to napping daily, and I'm reminded that you finish this journey much like you start it. It's a lot of work growing a baby.
But I am wildly greatful for this experience. When I was pregnant with Matthew, everything was so foreign. He was my first, and everything seemed strange and unexpected. Then with Jack, I was so sick. For nine months. I couldn't wait until my delivery date from the day I got pregnant. But this time...this time, I've just been enjoying everything. From week 14, when I started feeling better until now, I've loved this experience. I am carrying her well. My back hardly hurts. Her kicks make me laugh, or tear up. I am anxious to hold her in my arms, but not so anxious to give up my freedoms and my summer with the boys. She can wait until term.
But like I said, I feel things starting to change. She's measuring a couple weeks bigger than she should be, and I'm feeling that. Her kicks are less pleasant. My fuse is shorter (my apologies to the captain and my kids). I still love it, and I know this is by design. The last stretch is horrible so that women will do anything to get that baby out. (I think we should campaign for a 36 week gestation!) My goal was to share with you my joy before it turns to anything else.
My mom will tell me that she won't come until her birthday. And she's right. Because that's the perfect time...for all of us. And when her time in utero is a distant memory, I will hold her in my arms and be grateful for the process...the time we've had, just the two of us. And I will watch her carve her place in our lives and in our world and again thank God for the paths that led her to me.
I am 32 weeks along now. My baby's c-section is scheduled for 39 weeks -- August 22. So, if you can't do the math, that's seven short weeks from now. But you mommas know that those seven weeks aren't so short, are they? I'm back to napping daily, and I'm reminded that you finish this journey much like you start it. It's a lot of work growing a baby.
But I am wildly greatful for this experience. When I was pregnant with Matthew, everything was so foreign. He was my first, and everything seemed strange and unexpected. Then with Jack, I was so sick. For nine months. I couldn't wait until my delivery date from the day I got pregnant. But this time...this time, I've just been enjoying everything. From week 14, when I started feeling better until now, I've loved this experience. I am carrying her well. My back hardly hurts. Her kicks make me laugh, or tear up. I am anxious to hold her in my arms, but not so anxious to give up my freedoms and my summer with the boys. She can wait until term.
But like I said, I feel things starting to change. She's measuring a couple weeks bigger than she should be, and I'm feeling that. Her kicks are less pleasant. My fuse is shorter (my apologies to the captain and my kids). I still love it, and I know this is by design. The last stretch is horrible so that women will do anything to get that baby out. (I think we should campaign for a 36 week gestation!) My goal was to share with you my joy before it turns to anything else.
My mom will tell me that she won't come until her birthday. And she's right. Because that's the perfect time...for all of us. And when her time in utero is a distant memory, I will hold her in my arms and be grateful for the process...the time we've had, just the two of us. And I will watch her carve her place in our lives and in our world and again thank God for the paths that led her to me.
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