Dzhokar and his brother hurt a lot of people, and I have faith in the justice system that he will pay for his crimes. He may feel remorse, or he may not. Whatever poison he feeds on may have already destroyed his conscience. I most likely will never know. Doesn't mean I can't pray for him.
I grieve for those who are injured and have lost their lives. I laud the first responders who worked tirelessly to keep their city safe. Their systems appear to be absolutely flawless; they executed this beautifully. They turned around the situation inside of four days. That's incredible and I am in awe, and appreciation, as is the rest of the country.
I feel pretty comfortable with all the thoughts I just shared with you. I have learned that my heart is divided into emotional chambers. There is room for kindness, and appreciation, and compassion. But for some reason, there is very little room for anger, and almost none for vengeance. I don't feel those easily and they are often shoved out by sadness. And because they have such a small chamber, I feel it quickly and express it and move on.
I am not telling you this because I'm looking for affirmation. I'm not telling you this because I need to be reassured. I don't want you to tell me that I'm anything special. I am simply who God made me to be. And I live my convictions pretty loudly for one reason: Jesus loved everyone and He told me to as well.
I tell you all this because all of that empathy gets me into a lot of trouble. Man. Some people do not like the construction of my heart. And maybe because I don't get angry, they assume that I don't get hurt. They would be very, very wrong.
I just spent 15 minutes sobbing in the captain's arms after I received a hate-filled message from a facebook friend, in which he swore at me and told me, among other things, that I'm what's wrong with America. I've been called many names in my life, and I know I'm a liberal progressive. I know sometimes people mean that as an insult, and I've taken it that way when expressed as such. But I sort of love being that, you know.
I love politics. I think that civil discourse actually leads to resolution. Not always, but often enough that the conversations are worth having. I realize that I put myself out there. It's worth it. So many people have taught me so many things. Knowing a lot of different kinds of people has forced me to be more tolerant. I plan to continue having those conversations in the future, so here's what I want you to know: You are free to leave. No one is obligated to be my friend, either in real life or virtually. If I am a negative influence in your life, please, please walk away before you hurt me. I'm not saying this because I am being a baby. I felt critically attacked several times this week, and I really don't want to do it again. I will miss you, but I respect your decision. If you don't believe me, ask the number of people who have previously taken advantage of this invitation. No hard feelings, baby. No regrets. (Wait. Never mind. You get my point.)
Seriously, no apologies. I hope I don't make things worse. I sure like you people and my life would be so much different, and so much more boring without you. Please keep sharing your thoughts and challenging me. You make me better. Thank you from the bottom of my emotional heart.