Early in my pregnancy, I saw an acupuncturist. There was a meditation CD she had me listen to and in it, the narrator was describing how this baby was coming at the exact moment she was meant to. And reminded me to remember every woman who came before who made way for her. She said that my ancestors past whispered her name through the ages and already knew her. It was a really powerful moment for me, and I believe it to be true.
I am 32 weeks along now. My baby's c-section is scheduled for 39 weeks -- August 22. So, if you can't do the math, that's seven short weeks from now. But you mommas know that those seven weeks aren't so short, are they? I'm back to napping daily, and I'm reminded that you finish this journey much like you start it. It's a lot of work growing a baby.
But I am wildly greatful for this experience. When I was pregnant with Matthew, everything was so foreign. He was my first, and everything seemed strange and unexpected. Then with Jack, I was so sick. For nine months. I couldn't wait until my delivery date from the day I got pregnant. But this time...this time, I've just been enjoying everything. From week 14, when I started feeling better until now, I've loved this experience. I am carrying her well. My back hardly hurts. Her kicks make me laugh, or tear up. I am anxious to hold her in my arms, but not so anxious to give up my freedoms and my summer with the boys. She can wait until term.
But like I said, I feel things starting to change. She's measuring a couple weeks bigger than she should be, and I'm feeling that. Her kicks are less pleasant. My fuse is shorter (my apologies to the captain and my kids). I still love it, and I know this is by design. The last stretch is horrible so that women will do anything to get that baby out. (I think we should campaign for a 36 week gestation!) My goal was to share with you my joy before it turns to anything else.
My mom will tell me that she won't come until her birthday. And she's right. Because that's the perfect time...for all of us. And when her time in utero is a distant memory, I will hold her in my arms and be grateful for the process...the time we've had, just the two of us. And I will watch her carve her place in our lives and in our world and again thank God for the paths that led her to me.