God bless Cory. He trusted me, against his fears, and with the knowledge that he was going to have to work his ass off to make ends meet. And things worked out. For the past five years, Cory has been working at an incredible pace to support us. I am also thankful for my career, which has allowed me to be there...developing the boys' characters.
Tonight, I took Matty to his kindergarten open house. This afternoon, my Facebook status said: "Leanne is going to register Matty for kindergarten this evening. I will not cry." Leslie, one of my neighbors mentioned that she was going to be doing registration, and would bring Kleenex. And she wasn't kidding around. When I walked in the door, she handed me the box. She actually grabbed her own box and brought it with her. Such is a good friend.
And I needed those Kleenex. The whole night. We sat in the orientation, and they played a slide show of the current kindergartners doing their thing. Matty could not stop smiling. He kept hugging me and kissing me and jumping up and down. And I was reminded how important this time is for him. And I was weepy. In the dark, watching that slide show.
Then, in the last 15 minutes, one of the teachers read the kids a book called "The Night Before Kindergarten." In it, the kids are very excited to go to school, but the parents are crying. It was horrible. I think I might have been the only parent that emotional, but I hardly held it together.
And here's why:
Those years I wanted? I got them (Thank you, Jesus.). And they're nearly over. And I am overwhelmed with grief for the loss of them. It's not that I'm unexcited about the future. I can't wait to go through the next chapter of his life with him. How much he still has to learn! How amazing his mind is. He's so smart and funny and sweet. I love him so much.
I'm just going to take a few minutes to miss his two's and his three's and his four's. And then I'm going to keep on watching him grow up into the person God wants him to be, through his five's and his six's, and his seven's.