Saturday, April 11, 2009

A Piece of Heaven.


Two years ago, I held Jack for the first time. I carried him inside of me for 39 weeks. I struggled during my pregnancy, fighting nausea, fatigue, and pain. I waited impatiently for his arrival. I was induced on April 10. Six hours after they broke my water, the epidural stopped working. I couldn't fully dialate because of the pain, so my doctor decided to do a spinal. At that point, Jack and I were having blood pressure issues, so they needed to get him out quickly. All I remember is trying to push (six minutes they tell me), feeling very lightheaded and itchy. They took Jack and had to persuade him to breathe. I remember him being very blue and it seeming like a long time before Cory gave me a thumbs-up.

As Dr. Brown was putting me "back together," she told me with tears in her eyes that she had to get him out quickly, pulled him out from under his armpits and heard his arm break. I asked her if he was going to be okay. She said yes, so I quickly assured her then, that it was okay. Lots of moms get far worse news that that at birth. It turned out Jack had brachial plexus injury as well, so he couldn't move either arm for three or four weeks after birth.

But I think I told all that before. What I might not have shared is this:

After all that, they bring me my bundle. The baby that I know. The child that I brought into this world with sweat and tears and struggle. They place him in my arms, and I know...I FEEL...in that moment, the angels hand him over. They tell me that it's my turn. That I am now responsible for his upbringing, and his soul. And there is nothing like that feeling. I always say it's as close to euphoria as I can ever hope to feel here on Earth. I am overcome with emotion both from this ordeal and the angels' confidence in me.

And so, two years later, I am grateful to God for allowing me to have him. I am grateful for the angels for their safe delivery of my son. I am grateful to live in an age of modern medicine, where Jack and I both survived that birth. I am grateful for these past two healthy years with my Sassy Jack-Jack. And I am grateful to be his mother.
Happy birthday, my sweet son. I love you.



12 comments:

Cory said...

Love that guy!

Megan Lorraine said...

I am looking forward to that feeling when you hold that little being you've been waiting to meet for nine months for the first time. Thanks for sharing Leanne!

ethiopifinn said...

what a story. what a miracle!

Amy said...

I am always amazed at what moms and babes go through during the miracle of birth. Happy Birthday to your sassy guy. :)

Julie L said...

Happy Birthday Jack!

MindiJo said...

Well. I guess you should have known he was going to have a mind of his own.

Beautiful post, Leanne. I'm thankful both of you made it, too.

Jo said...

Oh, Leanne. That was beautifully written, and made me tear up. Babies are such miracles.

Elizabeth said...

what a story. I'm glad you both made it through.

Julie said...

Wow. That is quite the birth story- some days I am especially thankful for modern medicine and am again after reading that. So glad you're both here and okay and I think God entrusted Jack to an awesome mama.. :)

Laura Jean said...

I was so nervous for you to see Jack-Jack for the first time because of all the bruises, but I witnessed TRUE mother's love 'cause you didn't even see the purple! It was so precious and amazing!

~ Junkyard Jennifer said...

And look at him now!

What an amazing story. I remember hearing about his delivery and all you went through... I'm glad everything worked out. Babies are such miracles.

I hope he had a Happy Birthday!

Bebamaanakwad said...

beautiful. absolutely! love, love you.