Disclaimer: This post has been building for a few days. Worth noting: I'm hormonal. And emotional. And it's 8:00 a.m.
I've written three posts recently under the subject "Current Events." Each of them I've deleted. Because while I want to tell you how I feel, I already know that many of you don't agree. And I'm not really up for defending my thoughts and beliefs. And while I think it's an important discussion to have, I haven't had a strong enough day to post it here. Maybe later in the week.
Sometimes I want to go back five years. I want to be unaware and unaffected by politics. I want my relationships to be unchanged by our different viewpoints. I want to not care who you support and how much you dislike the president. I suppose, then, I would be less interesting. I would be less truthful to myself and the path I've chosen. But I can't help but think that sometimes I would be at greater peace.
I realize that I don't respond well to anger. I think it's a destructive emotion, and yet all around me, there is anger. Loud anger. Hard-to-ignore anger. Because it's in the news (ie Town Halls*), it's on my friends' facebook statuses, it comes up in conversations. And I feel like it'll be waiting for me as soon as I open my mouth with any kind of political statement.
I have a good friend who hates to argue with me. She says, "You always think you're right!!" And I do. I wouldn't argue a point I didn't believe it, although I will be the first one to admit when I'm wrong. I am very passionate about things and my personality doesn't allow me to bury that. I have walked away from several conversations in the past week or two. On one of those occasions, I was called out. Someone was trying to upset me. On another occasion, I started in before I could remember that I had vowed to stay away from those conversations**. Oops. In any case, it makes me agitated and sometimes, I want to revert back to an apathetic state.
I won't though. I can't. I care about the future of this country and the welfare of the people in it. But I will continue to find that middle ground. A way to talk about the things I belive in, keep the discussion going, and be able to separate my emotions from current events.***
*I had a whole post about this. In short, be angry if you like. Just be respectful. Please.
**Frequently it's my own fault. I don't have to respond to every thought that I don't agree with. I'll work on that. But won't promise not to fall!
***I had another blog post about this. I am built the way I'm built. For me, either fortunately or unfortunately (undetermined at this point), politics IS personal. Because the things in question will affect us for the rest of our lives. Doesn't get more personal than that.