Thursday, January 15, 2009

More Internet, More Lonesome

A year ago, I had neither Facebook nor a blog. I had email and a phone which I can both call and text. That's it; the extent of my technology. Now with the addition of this blog and my brand new facebook account, I feel more in touch with people than I have in a very long time. And I love it. Here's the problem. It also makes me sad.

Through the course of my life, I have had countless good friends. At any one time, I'd say I have four or five good "daily" friends. Over the years, they've been primarily co-workers because that's who I saw on a daily basis. Since I've been a mom, my best daily friend has been Penney, but now she's working full time. Over the course of the past six or eight months with my last real estate season and Penney working, we've not been able to spend as much time together as we had previously. This is the natural progression of life, and I harbor no anger over this change, even though I miss her.

Yesterday a few of us were talking on Facebook and Kristin made a comment that wouldn't it be great if we all lived in the same area and we could have girls' nights. And I realize that my "real life" doesn't have a lot of girls in it. And now I'm sad. I am reacquainted with so many people that have come and gone in my life and I realize that I loved them then and I love them still. And I wish they were still part of my real life.

I wish I could take all the people I have become friends with again in the blog world, Arizona girls, all my high school friends, all the fire department friends that I live near and see seldom and bring them all together. I wish that I could live the last ten years again. Not in the past, but right now. Am I making ANY sense?? My thoughts are kind of jumbled.

I am grateful for this, though. I will take it, because knowing all of you again is better than not. And I will adjust to this new mode of relationship and learn to not be sad about it. And, I hope, I will continue to have good real-life "daily friends" who I can see and be near. All these relationships are important to me and make my life better. "Surround yourself with good people" said Roger Brewer. Thank you for making it so easy!

7 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I do agree. It would be fun to live the past 10 years again - in the now. To bring all of the fabulous people who you've known throughout the years, at different times and in different places, and to have them meet each other too.

I think that is partly why I never feel lonely or friendless, even when I am lazy about making good daily friends (I like that phrase) - because I have been lucky enough to have made some great friends in my life and I know they will be my friends forever, whether we keep in touch regularly or not. Really, it seems like I already have more than my fair share. :)

It is so fun to learn about friends I haven't seen in ages - like you - and it would be even more grand to do that in person. However, FB and blogland do make a lovely substitute. :)

andy said...

Facebook is a crazy beast. I call it a surrogate for friendship. I can passively feel like I'm a part of my friends' lives just by checking out their pictures, their updates, their involvements, their friends. Where it crossed the line was when I found out about the first death of a college friend. I'd lost no other friends from that era of life and suddenly I saw that a mutual friend of mine and the deceased had started a Facebook group called "In Memory of Patrick Saunders." I felt like I'd been knocked down. The wind had left me. I was in shock. Not only had I only passively reconnected with Patrick over Friendster, Facebook, etc., hoping to--at some point--"get together soon," but I'd missed the boat entirely. He was gone. What I let take the place of friendship had been a pretty good substitute, until I no longer had the real thing as an option.

Oh, the books that will be written about this age of technology and communication. I love it...and also fear it. But, I'm so glad you're finally in it. :)

Julie said...

I think you've touched on something big! With this past year being so crazy, a new baby and Andrew working a lot, I've not had a lot of chances for face-to-face chat with my girlfriends.

I'm new to this blogging and feel it has connected me to a wonderful group of unique individuals that I might not have gotten a chance to connect with otherwise. On the other hand, there have been times when I am sitting here at home and feeling "more lonesome" as you put it.

I'm sort of in a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love it because it's so fun and convenient to be able to drop a line to people and look at their pictures, etc. But then sometimes, with life being well, life I suppose, I sort of feel like I'm "missing out"... if that makes any sense. Missing those coffee meets and shopping days- things I wouldn't even have time to be aware that I'm missing until I'm social networking and realize that it's been ages since I've seen so-and-so or even some of my closest friends. It makes me kind of sad.

Then again, when things settle down and I get a little energy back, it makes me more determined to really get out there and experience some new things...
Hey, if nothing else, it'll give me something to blog about, right? :)

Penney said...

AHH I miss you SOOO much too! IT's just not the same, not seeing or talking to you everyday! Although I'm VERY grateful for a job, it makes me really sad what I am missing! I say a date is in order real soon!! :)

MindiJo said...

Lenny, I love having you as a friend. And I love that we keep in touch this way and still have that weird sense of humor. You are one of those people who I think I will always just pick up where we left off. You know? I sorta know what you mean, but mostly it's a blessing for me. Being down here and all.

Amanda Kay said...

I know what you are saying, but how great is this to see pictures of people's kids and have little updates on their lives?! You get to know people all over again and stay in touch! I love it and wish more people would blog.....

Maria Lampinen said...

I enjoyed your photos from the wedding, Leanne! I'm glad I know about your blog. Love, Aunt Maria (maternal side Aunt Maria, I just realized that you have 2 aunt Maria's!)